Bilawal Thaat with Sa as E & Resolution

The aforementioned intense writing project that I've been working on is still going full steam, whether I like it or not. As a result, I haven't been practicing the harmonium as often. Perhaps 2 or 3 times a week, at best. When I do sit to play, I find that I only want to do the scales and not the songs, mostly because I am tired. Even though I haven't been practicing as often, my Bilawal scales with Sa as C and D have gotten much more fluid. I decided to forge ahead to Sa as E. As you may have guessed, I also haven't had time to fix the harmonium's rattling low E, so I am practicing Sa as E in the middle register. Being familiar with the major scale in all keys, and having practiced Sa as D with its many black keys, this scale came very easily.

Now I have three keys to apply to two sets of practice. This is quite time consuming. Over the summer when I was "training" to swim a mile in the pool at my gym (I use quotes because I was simply pushing myself to see how many laps I could do; it's not like I had someone telling me how to do this wisely, unless you count the internet), I found that my mind would get bored counting the breaths and laps. I started to watch for milestones in the counting to mark off how much I knew was left. I find I'm doing the same thing now with the 3-key practice. I know where the middle of the practice is so I know how much longer I have to pay attention. In the span of 20 minutes or so that it takes me to get through all 3 keys, I pass through the same mental/emotional states I experienced when swimming. They go something like this:

Excitement at starting
Warming up and working out the kinks
Mind wandering
Auto-pilot
Strict task master
Mind wandering
Boredom
Awareness of mistakes
Focus
Boredom
Awareness of how much has passed and how much is ahead
Joy
Confidence that I could do this forever and maybe I'll play longer than I usually do
Mind wandering
Awareness of the impending end
Sadness
Regret for having not being paying closer attention while time passed
Shock at how quickly it ends
Relief to be able to move on
Excitement to start something new

My singing teacher today taught me about resolution in music. To impart tonal Western music with a sense of closure or resolution, the final chord needs to be the core note/chord, lest the piece feel open-ended and suspenseful. A song in the key of C minor will end with the C minor chord. The resolution brings the piece full circle. Right back to where it started. What is the core note of my life? Where does life resolve to?

The emotional circle I feel when I'm practicing my scales is only going to get wider and wider as I learn more and more. As with so many things in life, I'm watching the same patterns return again and again -- whether its music, yoga, swimming, drawing, eating, sleeping, working.